One of the best "Things for sale in the Eau Claire..." posts you'll read

(Thanks for sharing, ‎Kathy Jo‎!)

‎Posted by Milo Gambino‎ to Facebook group "Things for sale in the Eau Claire/Chippewa Valley" 

 ******************For Sale!**************

The " Just friends / Netflix and Chill " deluxe movie sofa!

It's clean. It's sexy. It's so you!

(•_•)<) )╯all the single ladies/ \

(•_•)\( (> all the single ladies/ \

(•_•)<) )╯oh oh oh!

Take a look at this amazing sofa. Oh-em-gee!

Our country going through hard and sensual times with all the sexual misconduct that's going on. This couch will protect you from busy hands, perverted college professors, political jerks and dudes from Tinder.

For $250 bucks you can be the proud owner of this " Just friends Netflix and Chill " sofa! This has plenty of room for you, the holy spirit and that dude you met off of tinder that just wanted to come over for pizza and Netflix.....nothing more.......

Bull and shit! You know what he wants... and you're not gonna give it up........ that easy! When you tell him you just bought this " just friends sofa". He'll be out after 1 slice and 1 episode of Trailer Park Boys. What a dillhole! Ugh.. Men on the internet. They just want one thing, I tell ya.

This couch has special powers that will radiate dbag repellent. It will give that dude the friend zone vibe which will escort him on his way. You can do better, trust me. You're a beautiful lady who doesn't deserve to be treated like yesterday's newspaper.

This couch detects a true gentlemen! So, if he sits on here....behaves and treats you like Beyonce, Bam! You found your man... I scored this from a female, so this should tell you how much of a gentleman I am.

Then this couch coverts into " Maybe we can keep it above the waist" sofa. Just remove the stupid pointless accent pillows and your on the way to losing self respect. Did I say self respect? I meant dignity.

This couch can hold up to 3 people, 5 if you wanna get frisky. Meeee-ow.

Disclaimer : I never had relations on this couch. I know, hard to believe becuase I'm such a super fly mac daddy hunk of man, but ever since a cornfed girl from some 4-H group tried to take advantage of me, I just never had the urge to Netflix and chill again.

Blacklight ready for your inspection. If you think I'm kidding.... I'm not. I don't joke about couch sales. Ever.




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