So you’re in love with a wonderful person and life is grand. Except that part about them being a total slob. That part isn’t so great, but the good news is you can totally love and live with messy human, and here’s how you do it.
Create “drop zones” - These are strategically placed areas around the house where someone can drop off stuff without any rules or organization, like a small bowl for change near the front door and a junk drawer in the kitchen for assorted items that can remain there unorganized and not bother your tidy soul.
Be direct about your needs - Don’t be passive aggressive here, just ask for help without nagging or negativity. If your beloved drags their feet at your request, explain that “it makes me feel frazzled when there are stacks of mail on the counter. Why don’t we find a place for these magazines on the bookshelf?” Communicating openly and positively can help you get your home more organized.
Routinize family cleaning - You can’t make your partner like cleaning, but you can get them to help in small doses. Make cleanup time part of family life, so everyone knows what’s expected. Spend an hour Sunday afternoon having everyone tidy and sort and put away laundry or devote 10 minutes after dinner to put clutter away and that will help cleaning seem like less of a cruel and unusual punishment.
Learn to let things go - Part of being at peace in your partnership is remembering you and your partner are different and if you can find a way to let the occasional dirty dish or shoes left in the hallway roll off your shoulders instead of bring it up - again - it goes a long way.