Hannah's Headlines-6/15/2018

Finally, Scientific Evidence That Your Boss Is An Idiot

The feeling that all bosses are incompetent tools even has a name: the Peter Principle, as coined by Dr. Laurence J. Peter. The Peter Principle posits that people get picked for promotion until their promise peters out and their position puzzles them, i.e. you get stuck in the job you suck at. That's amazing insight for a scholar who named his theory of incompetence after himself.

The reason for this flawed system is that businesses use the wrong metrics to reward their workers. When looking to promote someone, higher-ups tend to pick their best employees, i.e the ones who are great at their current job, instead of trying to figure out which employee would be the best at the job they'd be promoted to. After all, just because you're the best rodeo clown on the circuit doesn't mean you're cut out to be Head Rodeo Clown and organize the Barrel Safety seminars.

Of course, the notion of your bosses always rising "to their level of incompetence" has been more of a universal intuition than a well-tested theory, but that has changed now. Researchers have published a study offering empirical evidence that the Peter Principle is true by examining hard data of sales teams and their managers from 214 different firms. Data showed that when ranking each member in a sales team, the chances of them getting a promotion rose by a massive 15 percent per rank. However, when promoted, that same ranking comes with an incremental 7.5 percent decrease in productivity to all of the new manager's subordinates. So quite ironically, the better someone was at making sales, the worse they were at selling their employees on them being a good manager.

Some companies, like Microsoft, are already testing these alternative performance reward schemes out with great success. All it takes to implement is a slight shift in the universal business mentality in which it no longer makes sense to just turn the star quarterback into the coach every time. Any suggestions?

Link: http://www.cracked.com/article_25677_finally-scientific-evidence-that-your-boss-idiot.html


Americans Are Getting Lucky IN The Office

Offices aren’t just for work anymore. In fact,  a lot of people are getting lucky at their place of business.

A new poll finds that 14% of Americans say they’ve had sex at work. Of course, that could be dangerous, as shows by the 19% of people who admit they were caught doing the nasty on the job.

And while getting into a relationship at work can be a risky situation, that hasn’t stopped 44% of Americans from having a workplace romance, with 92% of those people saying that relationship made them more excited to go to the office and more than half saying it made them more productive. 

  • By the way? It’s not just co-workers folks are getting it on with. The survey finds that one in ten Americans have had sex with the boss, with 34% saying they did it in order to get on their good side and get ahead at work.

Source: New York Post

Here’s A List Of The Grossest Soundest Words, According to Ranker

  • Moist: slightly damp, wet, humid
  • Pus: a white/yellowish liquid formed on the site of a wound
  • Smegma: buildup of skin and other crud between foreskin and penis
  • Discharge: a ladies special cottage cheese
  • Phlegm: a liquid secreted by mucous membranes
  • Seepage: the slow escape of a liquid or gas through small holes
  • Bae: a name for your significant other
  • Slooge: an abrupt discharge of fluid
  • What words make you cringe?

Link: https://www.ranker.com/list/gross-sounding-words/samantha-dillinger

Woman comes home from work to find burglars baking a cake, eating ice cream

These criminals are no Martha Stewart

When a woman returned home from work Monday in Kentucky, she found three men who broke into her home to bake a cake and smoke marijuana. It seems she interrupted a baking party, The Gleaner reports. 

"When the individuals broke into the home they had baked a cake, and were preparing to eat the cake and some ice cream when the homeowner returned home from work," a news release said. "Upon fleeing they had left some marijuana residue inside the home and the smell of smoked marijuana was in the air."

When the homeowner entered the home, all three ran from the premises -- but not before they stole one pair of her shoes. 

Police Chief Geoffrey Deibler elaborated on the bizarre incident, explaining the men could not find icing for the cake, so they instead opened a jar of jam to ice the cake. 

The woman was later able to identify one of the men as Jeremiah Garib, who was a friend of her son. But, her son was not home during the time of the cake party, nor had he invited them. After the identification, all three were charged with burglary, possession of marijuana, and theft. 

Would you let a robot watch your kid? A Chinese company hopes so

A Chinese company has unveiled a $1,500 robot which some parents have already purchased to babysit their children.

According to the Daily Mail, the cute iPal, which stands about the height of a five-year-old kid, speaks two languages, tells jokes, teaches math, and interacts with kids via a tablet in its chest, Teletubby-style.

The paper reports that the buddy bot was programmed to act like four-to-eight-year-old child, "becoming an extra child in the family that also helps relieve the burden felt by China's busy parents."

The iPal also lets parents see what's going on via a smartphone app, giving them peace of mind.

The robot will be available in the U.S. later this year.



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