It’s never easy being single, especially if all your friends are coupled up. No matter how much they may mean well, friends in relationships can easily make someone feel bad about their single status, and they probably don’t even know they are doing it.
Well, one relationship expert is here to help those clueless friends. Hayley Quinn, the UK-based dating expert at Match, is revealing the five things you should never say to your single friends, so if you don’t want them hating you, you’ll want to listen up.
- “So have you met someone yet?” –Adding the word “yet” to that question implies they need to hurry because time is running out. As Hayley notes, “It’s almost as if your life has to head in a particular direction, in a particular time frame, with a long-term relationship being our only goal in life.”
- “I know just the person to set you up with” –This statement assumes the single person is unhappy with their single status and only you can make it all better. While your heart may be in the right place, it’s important to make sure the person wants your help finding a mate before you offer one up.
- “Are you seeing anyone special?” –This assumes the only special person in someone’s life is the person they are in a romantic relationship with. Hayley explains, “In prioritizing asking about someone’s romantic relationships, you may forget that they have plenty of other connections in their lives that are valuable to them.” It also implies that casual relationships aren’t important and is basically asking if you’ve found “The One” yet.
- “Why do you think you’re still single?” –Basically you’re asking them to self-diagnose, as if being single is a disease. Hayley says, “this single-shaming question implies that the only way we can be ‘right’ is to be in a relationship, and if we’re not there’s a problem to fix here!”
- “There must be queues of people wanting to date you” –You may think you’re giving someone a compliment, but it may make someone feel like something’s wrong with them, because if there are so many people, how come they are still single. Hayley explains, “the idea that there’s ‘plenty more fish in the sea’, when they’ve been trying really hard to find one, may hit a sore spot.”