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Louis Tomlinson is opening up about the loss of his One Direction bandmate Liam Payne nearly one year after his tragic death.
In a new interview with Rolling Stone UK published on Tuesday (October 7), the "Back to You" singer reflected on navigating the grief that comes with losing a friend. Tomlinson, who according to E! News has experienced his share of loss with the death of his mother Johannah Deakin and sister Felicite Tomlinson, said Payne's death brought a different level of grief as the "Strip That Down" musician was the first friend he had that passed away.
"It was really, really impossibly difficult for me to deal with losing Liam," he said. "Naively, I thought that because at this point, I'm relatively well versed in grief for my age, that it might soften the blow. [That was] super naive. It's very different. I've never lost a friend before."
Tomlinson noted that milestones, such as One Direction celebrating the 15th anniversary of being formed on The X Factor in July, bring up complicated feelings now more than ever as it feels "unjust and frustrating that he's not with us anymore."
Despite being "really uncomfortable" with the anniversary, he said it's "more important than ever" to recognized it in honor of their late friend. He recalled how Payne was a good leader and the "safest pair of hands" when the group came together on The X Factor as he had more experience in entertainment than fellow members Zayn Malik, Harry Styles and Niall Horan, per The Hollywood Reporter.
"We were all just so amateur, but he was already where he needed to be by the time he did his first audition," he said. "None of us would have admitted it at the time, because you have a lot of pride as a young lad, but we all looked up to him like that."
Payne passed away October 16, 2024, at the age of 31 after falling from a hotel balcony in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Following his death, One Direction released a joint statement mourning the loss of their "brother" and each of his bandmates shared their own tribute to their late friend. In his message, Tomlinson penned a heartbreaking letter to Payne expressing how "beyond devastated" he was at his passing.
"I feel beyond lucky to have had you in my life but I'm really struggling with the idea of saying goodbye," he said. "I'm so grateful that we got even closer since the band, speaking on the phone for hours, reminiscing about all the thousands of amazing memories we had together is a luxury I thought I'd have with you for life. I would have loved to share the stage with you again but it wasn't to be."